Still The One - A Cristina and Burke series
by sona007
Summary: Three years after the Season 3 finale, Cristina runs into Burke at Seattle Grace due to unforeseen circumstances. She hopes to get closure but gains much more.
1. Revelations

I am not interested in or affiliated to Grey's Anatomy. No copyright infringement intended.

* * *

Cristina looked up from her patient. She felt Dr Bailey's tense gaze before she saw it. Something was up. They had a guy with a bull's horn in his torso on the table, who had survived severe tears to his aorta, spleen and a nick to the lungs. He had lived. The eight hour procedure involving three attendings, two residents and a bevy of interns had finally wrapped up. The surgeons were ecstatic, it was the best surgery they had performed since they had separated the adult 35 year old twins three years ago.

Cristina was thrilled. These were her moments, the ones she fought for. They kept her lucid. Though surprised that Bailey had even let her into the OR considering their spat the day before, she wasn't complaining. At the moment, she could have kissed her. Throughout the procedure, she heard the break in the Chief of Surgery's voice whenever she talked to her. It was like she was talking to a small child. She walked out of the OR, following her boss. She couldn't handle the sense of mystery any longer. "Okay, what is it? What are you hiding from me? Am I fired?" she asked, crossing her arms and looking Bailey in the eye. There it was again, the look. Wait a minute, Cristina thought. I know that look. I've seen it a lot three years ago, in the chapel, at work. This is what I got for a week before the stupid "She couldn't commit, she bailed out" thing started. Cristina could recognise that look in her sleep. Pity. She hated it. She had a physical impulse to hurt somebody when they gave her pity. But with Bailey, it was pity, with something else. "No, Dr Yang, you're not fired. Insubordination and lack of respect to your superiors will be the only complaints I will press against you for yesterday." Bailey sighed. "Its about your mother, Cristina." Startled, she asked "What about her? Did her MRI show up anything abnormal?" Last week, her mother had arrived promptly, unannounced, with her stepfather in tow. On her third day in Seattle, after dinner at her favorite Thai restaurant, she had complained of stomach cramps and vomiting. Cristina had thought it to be acidity and prescribed some antacids, but Mrs. Rubenstein had been insistent. "I need a second opinion. Who knows if you're right or not?" Biting back her response, Cristina got her admitted into Seattle Grace and had some tests done. Her schedule had not permitted her to visit her everyday, but she got her updates from Lexie, who was on the case.

"Cristina, the MRI showed a lump on her liver. We did a biopsy for confirmation. It's advanced liver cancer." Miranda said, worry written across her face. Cristina felt her knees wobble. She unconsciously looked for a place to sit, and the room swayed. Miranda shot out an arm and caught hold of her. "Yang, it's okay." Steadying herself, she tried to streamline her thoughts. "But, but the MRI results came out yesterday. Why didn't you tell me then? You knew something was wrong. Why today?" "We wanted to be sure of it's malignancy before scaring you off. The biopsy results came in this morning, so I'm telling you now." Bailey said, aware that she had broken protocol by not informing Cristina, but Mr Rubenstein had insisted.

"Is that why you wanted me to take today off?" Cristina asked. It was dawning on her that Bailey's anger at her 'insubordination' yesterday was actually concern. She had protested, saying she didn't need time off. She needed surgery. She needed to bring back somebody from the brink of death and witness them realizing that they had been reborn. And so she had yelled at Bailey, saying she was involved in the scheme to keep the surgery junkie out of the OR. She had insulted the only person who had fought for her. She sat down on the rim of the sink, staring at the floor. "How bad is it, Dr Bailey?" she asked. "Is she going to make it?" Miranda looked down at her frail, stubborn, loyal Chief Resident. "I'm sorry, Cristina, it's Stage III. She has weeks or months left. It has spread too far and affected her major organs. It's no use operating. And.." Cristina heard her diagnosis like a statue, motionless. "And?" she asked. "And her liver's been operated on before. She has had the cancer for a while and clearly a previous surgery did not cure it." Her eyebrows shot up. "What? That's impossible. She would have told me the moment she knew." she said. Unfortunately for Cristina, her mother told her everything. Every single nauseating little detail. Unless.. "Oh God!" Cristina groaned. Her mother had lied to her. When she had fought with her tooth and nail that day, she'd looked haggard and tired, defeated before the battle had even begun. She had lied to her to protect her. Cristina laughed aloud at the irony.

Miranda squinted at her, concerned. "Yang? Are you okay?" "Yes, I'm okay. I'm fine. I'm totally fine." she said, laughing loudly now. "Thirty years, for thirty years the woman tortures me by describing every aspect of her life, her house, her disappointment in me and this is the thing she decides to leave out. Every phone call or family dinner was about her wallpapers, her clients, how I didn't bring any boys home and this is what she wants to protect me from? Seriously? Seriously?" Cristina realized the last part had come out in a scream. She was no longer sitting down, she was pacing up and down the room around a visibly shaken Bailey.

She heard the door open and saw Meredith walk in, watching her carefully. So people could hear her outside now. Great! Shaking her head at Meredith, she chuckled ominously. "You! You knew, and you didn't tell me." Meredith glanced at Dr Bailey before stepping in front of Cristina. "I'm sorry. I wanted to be sure." Realizing that she was shaking with anger rather than shock, Cristina started to storm out of the room and go give her mother a piece of her mind. In an instant, Meredith caught her by her arms and Dr Bailey gripped her waist, anchoring her down. Surprised at the assault, she struggled against them. "What are you doing? Let me go!" "We thought you might do this." Meredith gasped. "Boy, you're as strong as an ox." "Yes, Yang, calm down. I know you want to scream at your mother but remember that she is a patient. It's not her fault that she's sick and dying." said Bailey, trying to grip the fumbling, struggling girl in her arms. "It's her fault she lied to me. Oh, she's going to get it big time.." Cristina screamed, still struggling. "She was worried about you, Cristina. You were.. you weren't yourself for a long time after.." Meredith fumbled, searching for words. Cristina stopped shoving them in the ribs and stood very still. "After what?" she asked. "After the.." Meredith shot an anxious glance at Dr Bailey, not sure if she should take that route. "After Burke left? I know. But she was there all the time, Meredith. A week every month. She cooked, cleaned, criticized every time only to come back again and she didn't find one second to tell me this? She lied to me." "She was worried, Cristina. You were a robot for the first few weeks, you know that. You hardly spoke, were always at the hospital, you even forgot to go home for a whole week once!" Meredith countered, still gripping her arms. "She was scared that it might make you lose hope." Incredulous, Cristina laughed. "Lose hope? I'm not losing hope. I'm fine, she can go ahead and die all she wants, I don't care." "Yang.."Dr Bailey said, holding her by the shoulder. "Yang.." "Seriously, she can go ahead and die, I don't give a damn. She lied, and now she expects me to save her? No way. I'm.." Cristina stopped, trying to breathe. Her throat was hurting. She couldn't ignore it. She felt her cheeks become wet with involuntary tears. Her mother was dying.

Since she was three, she had hated her. She had hated her for her recovering too quickly from her father's death. For getting married to a stranger. For never questioning her silence, her refusal to get to know her 'new dad'. For referring to her as 'emotionally stunted'. For never understanding that though she had moved on, Cristina was still grieving. And now she was leaving her too. Cristina sobbed, falling into Meredith's arms. "She can't do that, Mer. She can't leave me. She's all I have left." she said, the sobs racking her body. "No, Cristina, you have me. You have us." Meredith said, tyring to soothe her person. "And don't forget", said Bailey, "You have Ara. She's a miniature Mrs Rubenstein, all right.." Cristina smiled through the pain. True, she thought. She had Ara. Where Cristina hated her mother, Ara absolutely adored her. It was indeed unfair that she would know her for such a short time.


	2. Losing Perspective

I have no interest in Grey's Anatomy. No copyright infringement intended.

* * *

Cristina tiptoed towards Room 2023. Though it was 2 am, the light was still on. She had sent Saul home with Ara early in the evening. He had protested, but she had promised to stay by Helen's side all night. Ara, however, was difficult to shake off. She'd noticed that something was wrong. Cristina looked tired, her eyes were blotchy and her goodbye kiss lingered for a moment too long. She narrowed her eyes at Cristina, realizing that she was hiding something from her. Before she could ask her, though, Saul had bundled her into the car and they were on their way home. Cristina slumped her shoulders in exhaustion as she waved goodbye to her. It would be difficult to explain this to her.

Now, as she hid outside her mother's room, Cristina couldn't decide whether to go in or run away. "Stop lurking, Cristina", Helen said, startling her. Resigned, she brushed imaginary dust off her scrubs and walked in. Helen sat imperiously on her bed, propped up by pink pillows, a copy of Good Housekeeping in her hands. Aside from the IV needle in her arm, Helen looked like she was in her own home. She'd actually made herself comfortable in this dank, dark room. Cristina looked at her closely for the first time in years. To her, her mother had always been this bustling, high-pitched, wallpapering determined woman with a shiny helmet of brown hair. Intrusive, overly friendly, frozen in time at forty and infuriating. Cristina had never thought about her as old or aging. She realized now just how wrong she had been. Even for the past three years, Cristina had been consumed with her struggles, her surgeries and fitting in with Ara. Helen's age and health had not been major concerns. Looking at her mousy brown hair, she felt guilty that Helen had lied to her so easily. She was a doctor, a surgeon, for God's sake. And she had been unable to diagnose her own mother's cancer.

"I'm not a giraffe at Griffith Park, Cristina. Stop staring at me", she said and glared at Cristina from above her gold-rimmed glasses. Unsure of what to do, Cristina grabbed her chart. "I'm sorry", she whispered, not taking her eyes off.

"What? Speak loudly, Cristina, it's impolite to mumble", Helen snapped.

Breathing deeply, she repeated, "I said.. I'm sorry."

"I can't hear you", Helen chirped.

"Mother!", Cristina yelled. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry I didn't believe you, all right?"

_Silence._

Suddenly, Helen burst out laughing. Cristina, regretting her outburst, joined in awkwardly. She couldn't remember a time when she had laughed with her mother instead of at her. And now here they were, laughing together at her lie.

"No, Cristina, I lied to you. I'm sorry", she said, settling back into the hideous pillows. "I should have told you. But I was too busy mending you", she said, holding Cristina's hand in hers.

"Three years, mother. I admit I was a zombie for the first one, but you could have told me sometime along the way.", Cristina said, sitting down beside her. It scared her to see Helen so frail and weak.

"Cristina.. I'm not just sorry about the lie. I was selfish in not telling you, too".

Cristina frowned at her.

Helen hesitated, mumbling to herself.

"Mother?", Cristina asked, confused.

With an obvious effort, Helen looked her in the eye. "For all these years, you never let me in. You disapproved of me leaving your father, and never let me forget it", she said, her voice unsteady.

"Mother, I.." Cristina interjected.

Helen help up her hand. "Let me finish", she said. Cristina nodded. "All these years", she continued, "I tried being a mother to you. I tried to do my job and make sure you were okay. That you were happy with me and Saul and Rebecca. But you were just too angry. After your father died, you were lost. You didn't speak to anyone for a month. It took failing Geography to shake you back to normalcy. Even then, I tried being there for you. In my condescending, annoying way, I know, but I tried." she said. "And after a point, I gave up. I was tired of the rejection. I did what was expected of me, but never more. You had scared me with your constant rebukes. I stopped trying.", she said. "And then, suddenly, you needed help. For once, you let me help you. You didn't exactly welcome me, but you didn't fight me off either. For once, I could actually be your mother. Thank you."

Cristina stared at her. She was at a loss for words. She'd had no idea that she'd hurt her mother so much. It had been her intention all along, but she'd always assumed that _she_ was the one who ended up annoyed and frustrated, not Helen. She let it sink in for a moment.

"You're.. you're welcome. I'm glad my tragedy helped you", she smiled warily. "_Now_", she said, clearing her throat as Helen looked away to wipe her tears, "How do we get through this?"

Helen smiled. "What are my options, Doctor?", she asked.

Cristina checked her chart. "Well, the MRI has found a recurrence, larger than the original tumor. We'll look into surgical or chemo options to treat it. But meanwhile, you've also complained of chest pains. When do you experience these?"

"When I lie down. My chest aches and I can't breathe. I have to sit up in bed and wait for it to stop."

Cristina massaged her neck and shoulders. "Have you been experiencing any pain here? Or your ankles?"

"Yes, my ankles swelled up last night.", she said, looking worried.

Cristina's hair stood on end as she took off the blanket to look at her legs. On Helen's small, petite frame, her swollen ankles looked enormous. _They're the size of premium Florida oranges!_ she thought. _Breathe_, Cristina told herself. _Breathe_. "Mother? Why didn't you tell me this earlier?", she asked.

"You weren't here last night, you were.."

"In the OR.." Cristina completed her sentence for her, shaking her head.

"We'll get an MRI done, let's verify what's wrong with your heart before freaking out. It might be nothing, just stress and aging. I'll talk to Lexie and get an MRI scheduled right away, okay?"she said, punching Lexie's number into her pager furiously.

"Cristina. Cristina!", Helen cried, "Before freaking out? You _are_ freaking out. What is wrong with me?", she asked. "You don't want to know. I mean, I don't know.", Cristina said. "Let's just be sure before.."

"Cristina?" It was Meredith, looking at her like she was seeing a crazy person. She came into the room and grabbed the chart out of her hands. "What's wrong, Mrs Rubenstein?", she asked her mother. "Oh, nothing dear, just some chest pains and swelling on my ankles. I'll be fine."she chirped.

"Fine?" Cristina croaked. "You are not going to be fine. Your ankles are swollen. You can't breathe when you're lying on your back. Fine, you say?" Meredith's eyes widened. "Do you think it's Pericarditis?", she asked. Cristina nodded. "Yes, it could be the early stage. I can't be sure until I get an MRI or a CT. Let's get this done, shall we? Where is Lexie?", she asked frantically, paging her again.

Meredith put her hands on Cristina's shoulders. "Cristina, breathe. Lexie is not on call today, but she's here in the hospital. I'll page her and get Helen to the MRI meanwhile. But you need to calm down", she stressed.

Cristina breathed, sitting down on the bed. "Are you okay, Cristina?", Helen asked, only to invite a murderous glance from her.

She looked back at Meredith. "MRI. Now. Go!" she said, as Helen hurriedly got out of bed and into her wheelchair. Meredith made sure her IV was attached, nodded pointedly at Cristina and left.

_Calm down_, she'd said. Cristina counted to ten, her age-old method of calming down when "Helen struck". But it wasn't a matter of emotions anymore. Emotions were easy to control, all you had to do was to separate the people from the problem. But what if you couldn't? What if you set out, an 11-blade in hand, to remove a swollen pericardium from an open chest and instead of your pulse racing with anticipation, it raced with fear? Because you realized that you held your own mother's life in your hands? One wrong cut, one mistake, and you could kill your parent.

Cristina held her head in her hands. For the first time, Dr Yang was losing perspective.


	3. Do no harm

I have no interest in Grey's Anatomy. No copyright infringement intended.

* * *

Derek looked around, slightly irritated. Meredith had left him here half an hour ago to go check up on Cristina. Five minutes, she'd said. Zola was trying to sleep on his shoulder, but he wasn't adept at that yet. She needed Meredith. He stared as his wife whipped past him down the corridor into the MRI Console. "Mommy will here in a minute, okay?", he said, confused.

Meredith came to a halt when she reached Lexie, "What happened? I was asleep, I didn't realize my pager had gone off until five minutes ago. Is Cristina angry?", Lexie asked, wide-eyed. "Oh, hello, Mrs Rubenstein", she greeted Helen, taken aback. "What is with your.." "Ankles..", Meredith gasped. "Her circulation is affected and Cristina thinks she might have pericarditis. Do an MRI and a chest radiograph and come back to me with the results before you tell Cristina. And whatever you do, get her out of there immediately if she has trouble breathing. Understood?" she said, stressing the last part.

"Okay", Lexie nodded. "Let's go, Mrs Rubenstein", she added, wheeling her away. "Any time you have chest pains, just call out my name and I'll get you out of there. Now, is there any chance you're claustrophobic?", she asked, preparing her for the scan.  
"I was, but I've lived with my daughter for too long. That cured all of my phobias", Helen said wryly. "And by the way, dear, I would appreciate it if you told me what's wrong with me before Dr Shepherd or Cristina.", she said. "Your duty is to me first".  
Lexie groaned. Talk about being in a fix.

"Meredith!", Derek called, seeing her run past him again. "Where are you going? We were supposed to leave half an hour ago. And did you just shoo Cristina's mother out of the hospital?" Meredith smiled. "No, she's not that easy to shake off. Cristina thinks she might have a swollen pericardium, so I rushed her for an MRI and a radiograph", she panted, kissing Zola on the cheek. "I'm sorry, honey, I think I should be with Cristina today. She hasn't slept for 30 hours and she just found out about Helen's cancer and heart. Why don't you two head home and I'll see you there?"  
Derek nodded. "Of course. Is she going to be okay? Can I help with something?", he asked.  
"Well, you could babysit Ara, but Saul's already doing that. There's nothing really.."she stopped suddenly, inspired. "Actually, there is something you can do.", she whispered, taking him by the arm and leading them into a nearby empty waiting room.  
Derek heard her out. He couldn't believe his ears. "Meredith", he said, stopping her mid-sentence. "No."  
"Why not? Derek, she's running around like a headless chicken since she found out about the cancer. A moment ago she discovered Helen also needs a surgery on her heart. She's overwhelmed. How do you expect her to cut her own mother open without going crazy?", Meredith said, pacing across the room.  
"I'm not saying she has to do it. Hahn can.."  
"She won't let Hahn do it. She admires her ability, but she wouldn't hesitate to kill her if it goes wrong."  
Derek couldn't argue with that. "We can't spring it on her, Meredith", he disagreed. "It's not our place."  
Meredith nodded, smiling. "You're right", she said. "We can't."

Cristina rested her head against the hideous pink pillows for a moment, lying down on the bed her mother had just vacated. It was warm and clean and smelled of Helen. Too much citrus, she thought, wrinkling her nose. Just a moment, she told herself. It'll stop spinning. The pink and blue ceiling tiles swirled above her head, making her dizzy with sleep. It should have stopped spinning now. Why doesn't it stop?

_"Make it stop. Somebody sedate me!", she cried, staring at her friends' bewildered expressions as they watched her cry. Meredith had stuck a syringe in her arm, stopping the nerve-wracking sobs, but not the tears. She hated tears. Pansies cry, she told herself. She hated them even more when they were her own. _  
You did this to me,_ she thought. _Where are you now? Strutting around the hospital, being Chief, taking care of everyone except the one who's lying in a bed, sobbing, because of you_. _Stop it_, another voice reasoned as more hot tears made way down her cheeks. _He had not even known._ She closed her eyes. She didn't have the strength to wipe the tears away, so she let them make her blurry, blinking them out when she could.  
Opening her eyes, she saw a tall figure looming in the doorway. He approached her warily, his eyes widening when he saw her crying. He reached out a hand to comfort her, when her mother piped in "She doesn't want to be touched". Cristina looked at him, her eyes pleading him to stay. He shook his head at her mother and took off his jacket. He climbed into bed beside her and took her in his arms. The moment he touched her, Cristina felt her sobs worsen. It was like someone comforting you when you're desperately trying to hold yourself together. You think you have it in check, but their concern breaks you. It releases the torrent you've held in check till it consumes you and you're left sobbing like a six-year old. Burke felt her shivering. He crossed his leg across her tiny frame and put his lips to her forehead. "Shh..", he said. "It'll be okay" His hands ran down her back, soothing her and making her cry some more at the same time.  
"I'm here. Let it out.", he whispered.  
Cristina sobbed her heart out. Her heartbeat had slowed down from its frenzy to a steady rhythm. She closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest. His fingers were in her hair as he tried to smooth her tangled curls. His arms were strong and his chest was that toasty warm degree she remembered. Deja vú, she thought. He held her the way you hold something breakable, light enough that you won't break it with your own hands but strong enough that you won't let it fall and shatter. Like she was a beating, pulsing heart in his palm. This was how he'd held her after Nurse Fallon died. She wanted nothing more than be here forever. Her mind raced as it came to terms with that fact. Cristina Yang did not settle down with someone. Mediocre people settled down. She had made that mistake earlier to her intense disappointment.  
Just this moment, she thought.  
No, she had to tell him she was fine. She didn't need him here any more.  
"You're beautiful", he whispered, thinking she was asleep. Leaning his neck, he kissed her lips, softly, and held her closer. Cristina kept her eyes closed while her nerves melted. Just this night, she told herself._

"Dr Yang? Dr Yang!" Lexie called out. She'd combed through the hospital for Cristina for three hours, only to find her asleep, exhausted, in her mother's bed. She was apparently in deep sleep, her mouth slightly open and drooling on the pillow. "Unhh..", she moaned.  
Lexie shifted uncomfortably. She decided to risk it. She jerked Cristina's shoulder. Better make this quick. she reasoned, and stepped away. Far away.  
Cristina sat up, squinting in the early morning sunlight streaming in through the window. She was in a hospital bed, the dull pain from her scar throbbing. She grimaced, expecting it to ache again and reached out for his shoulder to hold on to. Instead, one hand broke thin air and she clamped the other on her old scar. There was no pain. She opened her eyes wider. _Not again_, she groaned. _Not again_. She stopped mid-yawn when she saw Little Grey observing her with concern. _Mother. Cancer. Ankles. Meredith_. She remembered with a jolt.  
"What is it?", she asked, looking around the room. "How long have I been asleep for?"  
"Dr. Yang, I paged you repeatedly, but you didn't answer. I searched the whole hospital for you, but couldn't find you until I saw you here a minute ago", Lexie said, staring at Cristina's chilly demeanor. "You've been asleep for three hours", she said hurriedly, answering her Chief Resident's question.  
"Where is my mother? How is she? Have you noticed any symptoms yet?" Cristina asked her, putting on her shoes and pulling her hair into a ponytail.  
"She's feeling better. She made it through the forty minute MRI and the radiograph, but she does have difficulty breathing. Also, she's experiencing sporadic pain in her left arm." Lexie said, walking fast to keep pace with Cristina, who was storming out into the hall to the elevator. Cristina nodded. Her diagnosis was correct, but thankfully it was not as acute as she had thought.  
"Where is she", she asked, pushing the button for the elevator.  
"In the Chief's office. Dr Shepherd and Meredith are talking to her now.", Lexie said.  
Cristina frowned. "She's a patient. She should be sitting in a bed here, not touring the hospital in a wheelchair. You should know that", she hissed at Lexie.  
"I.. We tried to talk her into getting back to bed, but she wanted to talk to the Chief", Lexie admitted nervously.  
Cristina stared at Lexie. "You're hiding something", she said, watching Lexie grimace with discomfort. "She knows she needs surgery, doesn't she? You told her. Didn't I tell you expressly that I was the one you should  
have told first?" she asked, rolling up her fists as the doors closed.  
"You did, but I couldn't find you for three hours and she was beginning to get nervous. She wanted to know, Dr Yang. I'm sorry", she said, looking away.  
Cristina opened her mouth to argue, but shook her head instead. "How much did you tell her?", she asked.  
"Just that the protective cover around her heart was hardening and she needed an operation to cut away the infected part. That's all I said", she said.  
Cristina noted her emphasis on the 'I'. "Okay", she said, stepping out and walking to the Chief's office, where a sleepy Derek and Meredith were talking to her mother. "Meet me in her room in thirty minutes", she told Lexie. "Now scoot!"

"Hello, Chief!", Cristina exclaimed, greeting Derek and nodding at Meredith. "You", she said, looking at them both smile at her. "Okay", she said, sitting down beside her mother and adjusting her blanket. "What are we plotting?", she asked, enjoying watching their forced smiles fade away.  
"Oh, you with your sinister ideas!", Helen said, taking the initiative. "We were just discussing options, Cristina. I know I need surgery."  
Cristina frowned. "I know you think I can't do it, Mother. But I can. If you want.."  
"I know you can, Cristina", Helen interjected, "I don't want you to", she said, worried.  
Nonplussed, Cristina looked at their faces. "Why not?"  
Helen sighed. "Cristina", she said, "Even if you are Dr Yang instead of Cristina during my surgery, what if I don't make it?"  
"Now you're just questioning my ability, Mother.."  
"Cristina", Helen said, her voice louder. She turned around in her chair with effort, the pain showing on her face. "I do not doubt that you can put me back together. But I have also been told about the chances of the patient dying on the table in spite of surgeons doing everything right." She held up her hand to stop Cristina from interrupting her. "What if I die on that table? Do you think I want to go to my grave leaving you with the knowledge that you killed me? I wouldn't be able to bear that." she said, clutching her chest.  
Cristina rubbed her back, trying to ease her breathing. "Mother, don't talk.."  
"Besides", Helen said, "These two have come up with options for good surgeons for me."  
Derek nodded as Cristina looked at him warily. "Well, the front runner was Dr Hahn.."  
"No", Cristina emphasized. "No Hahn." She saw Derek sigh in exasperation but out of the corner of her eye, she thought Meredith just suppressed a smile.  
"There was Dr Marlow, but he's not available this month", Derek said, looking concerned. "And your mother thought of Dr Preston Burke", he said, too quickly for it to be original.  
Cristina froze. Did he just say Burke? Preston Burke? Her almost-husband? Operate on her mother? Was he out of his mind?  
"Cristina?", Meredith asked, worried. "Cristina!"  
She snapped out of it. Shaking her head, she tried to form words but only exhaled a mouthful of air instead.  
"Derek", Meredith said, nudging him. "She's foaming at the mouth. We should do something."  
Cristina got out of her chair and advanced towards Derek. "Cristina! Preston Burke was my idea!", Helen screamed in the nick of time. Cristina wheeled around to face her.  
"Your.. your idea? You recommended the man who.."  
"Who couldn't break you. Who failed to make you lose hope, Cristina", she snarled. "Because you stand here today, hoping. You are alive, you're not a corpse that he left. You are over him", she said, breathing rapidly now. Meredith took her hands in her own and rubbed them together. "Mrs Rubenstein, please, don't stress yourself." Cristina stared at them and back at Derek, who clearly didn't approve.  
"Of course I'm over him. I don't need you guys to tell me that", she said, incredulous.  
"Then you shouldn't be affected by his arrival", said Derek, sounding positive for the first time. "Once your mother gives her approval, we'll contact him and get him here."  
Cristina stared at him and sighed. Fine, she thought. You asked for it. "Okay. So why ask me at all? Why hasn't my mother given her approval already? Why do you need me?", she asked, not letting on how hurt she was.  
"I wanted to clear it with you first. If you weren't my daughter, you would be my only choice, Cristina. But since you are, Dr Burke is the one I trust to put me back together", Helen said, her eyes sad. Cristina avoided Meredith's gaze and looked at her mother, resigned. She would deal with her later. "Fine", she said, pushing Helen's wheelchair around and starting towards the door. "You can get in touch with him and  
let him know the details. Page me if I can help", she said to Derek, wheeling her out the door.  
Derek looked at her departing figure through the glass wall of his office. "That was uncalled for", he told Meredith, not too happy with the course of events. "And surprisingly quiet", he continued, "Although she did charge at me at one point. I thought I was going to lose a couple of teeth." Meredith smiled uneasily. "She proved me right, Derek. Besides, Dr Burke is the best option Helen has today. Apart from Cristina, of course."  
"He is also on the other side of the country and from what I hear, extremely busy", Derek said, making a note to call him at a decent hour.  
"You really don't approve of this, do you?", Meredith asked him. He was against Burke at first, but Helen's immediate agreement had made him reconsider his stance. Later, Cristina's momentary wild reaction had just served as further proof that he should try this.  
"Yes, I disapprove on principle", he said. "And I promise you, if she gets hurt in this process, I will make him regret his existence. You should know that." "I will, too", Meredith said, hugging him. "I just want Cristina to be happy" "Feeling manipulative, are we?", he said, kissing her forehead.  
They held on to each other, wondering how much harm they were doing her instead of healing.

**_P.S: This is my first time writing fiction of any kind ever, so all reviews are welcome. Let me know what you like/dislike so I can improve. Thank you for reading! Go Bang! ;) :P_**


End file.
